AM thoughts, fears and worries collated from twitterpations…
I’ve been exhausted since getting back from two weeks of travel. As much as I’ve been on the go, I guess a crash was incoming. I’m emotionally burnt out too, pretty on edge about things. I think a lot of it is fear over what’s to come when Tr**p takes over.
There’s also lingering imposter syndrome that I can’t kick out like an ex-that doesn’t get that it’s unwanted. Parts of it are family things I’ve discussed more in depth elsewhere but also I still struggle with being known & recognized. I always feel like an ungracious blob when I meet people & they thank me for what I do, or are really happy to meet me.
Like…I often want to blush, stammer and run away but I can’t do that. I’ve always been a weird kid, oddball out adult. I was also picked on, which leaves emotional scars. I’ve never been good at receiving compliments. I’m waiting for the lol, joking moment to come, thankfully it hasn’t.
There’s also wariness that comes from growing up with an emotionally manipulative parent. Like what are you really asking for? Which is emotionally unhealthy AF. It puts me in the defensive right out the gate. It’s a wonder I’ve gotten this far in life sometimes. So yeah, I’m a ball of anxiety and stress right after a year of doing INDG as a full time gig, lots of travel & $$ stress.
One more quick trip and I’m done for the year. Hoping I can rest and recharge. Come up with a plan on how to keep INDG going in 2017. I think that’s the biggest source of my worry right now. I & INDG are going through Patreon, donations, crowdfunding. If Patreon dries up? INDG will die & I’ll have to return to a day job. Which I don’t know if I can do anymore. I’m used to being on my own.
I’m also tired of office life, the politics & petty bullshit that comes packaged with a paycheck. But I like having steady income. So that’s where my overtired little brain is at this early morning. I’ll probably regret being this open later but fuck it.
Might as well put out reminders of how to support my work since I’m on this thought train at O’Fecking early on a Sunday morning.
How to support my work:
Patreon — monthly donation for as little as $1 a month. This keeps a roof over my head, the cat in kibble and the lights on so I can keep running I Need Diverse Games.
PayPal.me for a one time donation if a recurring payment isn’t your thing/not in the cards right now.
Diversity Consulting & Sensitivity Reads — Rates depend on word count, time table, follow up requested. In person diversity consultation negotiated on case by case basis, with travel consts & per hour/day/week payment rates dependent on client needs
How to support I Need Diverse Games
Patreon — It’s our only steady funding source for our 501 ( c ) (3) non-profit organization. The more we’re getting per month, the more we can do for the community.
PayPal.me- For a one time donation to our organization, so we can keep up our work.
Support our Podcast — Fresh Out of Tokens — Donating to the INDG Patreon keeps us on the air. We might open up donations on the podcast page itself in 2017
I Need Diverse Games Spreadshirt shop- Wear your support for diversity in games! Get tees, mugs, hoodies and more to show that you too need diverse games!
