Reality vs Perception when you’re known & people want to get where you are

Late night tweets are always a good idea right? So I wanna talk about reality vs perception when you’re visible & the work it took to get there.

Hopefully no one takes these as me being ungrateful or arrogant or hating on folks trying to hustle. None of this was easy. First thing, people will ask how I do what I do. How do I get to travel, speak at events etc. like it’s magic. It’s never that. I have to submit panels like other people. Sometimes I’m asked to join a panel. Still have to see if it’s accepted.

As for speaking engagements? I’ve put in the work for two+ years on #INeedDiverseGames, written articles, panels at cons, etc. It still surprises me when I get invitations to speak. Because that’s not my goal in doing this work but it’s cool to have it happen. It’s a progression, where your work gets known & hopefully people put 2 & 2 together to realize who started it. Then invites may come in.

It’s still work though. You’ve gotta get paid for your time & get travel covered. If that’s not part of the offer? Negotiation time! That’s where I think people miss a step since they don’t see the back end of it. They don’t see emails between asking and deciding. To take the speaking opportunity or to join a panel. If it’s a convention & your not a guest of honor, you gotta get there so more $$ are coming out of pocket.

There’s a lot of background work that goes into getting to a point where you are invited to cons as a guest. But all people see is ooh, you’re on a panel at [convention]! I could never do that! Um, yes you can. But folks have ideas on how you do it that aren’t correct. If you want to be on panels, you have to submit them. Not up to submitting a panel on your own yet? I still got you.

Tweet out or blog or FB post about what you are comfortable speaking about. Be blunt & tell folks you’d love to join panels on X topic. Keep in mind that’s if you’re just itching to be on panels at your fave convention. Not a public speaker type? That’s cool too, try to pitch articles or start a blog or YT channel. We all had to start somewhere.

Back to what I had started on, the way visible folks are treated by some, like we’re somehow different or lucky or special. I don’t think I am any of those things but that’s me. What I have a problem with is people who see the end result but don’t want to do work. I see folks get caught up in how do I get where you are without listening to the *how*. They want the perks without grinding levels.

I can’t think of anyone who became known or hyper visible overnight. When you see folks getting book deals, GoH gigs? That took time y’all, time and hard work. Time a lot of folks don’t want to invest. There is no fast travel option to success. Whatever your measure of that is. YMMV.

Here’s the other side of it people don’t seem to get. Once you get to whatever peak you’re aiming at? More work to stay there y’all. Oh, and if you’re trying to do this and a day job? Kiss free time goodbye and sleep. You & sleep will no longer know each other. You’ll get more and more folks wanting your time, knowledge, little pieces of you because you somehow made it. They wanna make it too.

Now, you’re in that spot of people wanting to slide in your DM’s with a simple question, or one coffee meeting. That’s where it’ll be at for you. But folks don’t seem to think about all these factors when they wanna be like [person] or get to be on panels, etc. So before you idolize anyone who you think has such a keen life of travel, speaking & being known? Consider the work you didn’t see them do. Consider the time, money & effort they invested before you consider them merely lucky. Think about whether you’re about that life.

Cause it ain’t easy I tell you what. I’ve never hidden the struggles I’ve had with the work I do. So I’m surprised when people don’t listen when I repeat things I’ve said elsewhere about putting in the work. The toll it can take on you to travel so much, work that hard. So TL;DR the people you see everywhere worked to get there. You want that too? Roll up your sleeves & dig in & know it’ll take time.

PS: this is especially true when it comes to Twitch casting. People see follower numbers and partnership & wanna get there fast. That really takes work, ability to be present & entertaining for your audience. You can’t expect 50 viewers every time you’re on at the start of casting on your preferred platform. I’ve been streaming a little over two years and am just now over 800. My goal isn’t partnership tho, so YMMV. So yeah, go slow, have fun and enjoy yourself on stream. You’ll grow an audience as folks come to know you.