Why I chose to participate in #ShoutYourAbortion
(this story is a collation of my tweets on this earlier today 9/22/2015, original thread begins with this tweet)
Seeing the fallacy that #ShoutYourAbortion is bragging about the choice to terminate a pregnancy is really upsetting me. I did not celebrate when I had an abortion, I did not go out and party, I went home and bawled my eyes out.
This was after one clinic turned out to be a pro-life sham that tried to terrify me into keeping a child neither of us was ready for. They were the ones who showed me terrible pictures and tried to convince me that all would be well if I kept the child.
No it wouldn’t have. I’d be in the same place as my mother, with a 22 year old and I’d be bitter, angry at the world & that child. Thankfully #PlannedParenthood was there to help, not convince me that it was for the best. These pro-life people in the #ShoutYourAbortion tag don’t seem to understand that birth control fails, not everyone is ready for a child when they get pregnant. It should always be a right and a choice to carry a child. These same people are all for rights until that child is born. Until they are humans outside the womb.
So to anyone saying #ShoutYourAbortion is bragging? I give you a heartfelt, mighty FUCK YOU for that. Get some empathy. For anyone thinking someone actually uses abortion as convenient birth control? FUCK YOU too. Get out of here with that welfare queen mythos.
Yeah, so I had an abortion at 20, it was the best decision possible for us then. I will #ShoutYourAbortion with no more shame. Now, I’m going to go cry. I’ve never talked about this publicly and it’s just as painful now as it was then. /fin
ETA: Pro-lifer trolls that come into my mentions will be roasted, this is not a topic where I will use kid gloves. You will catch hands today.
ETA 2: I’m already getting some ‘interesting’ replies on twitter from people who are clearly trawling the tag to harass anyone who is sharing their story and pain.
ETA 3: I’m adding a bit more to this since I am participating in a charity stream the weekend of January 16 & 17th to help fund reproductive rights. I’ve always struggled with this, talking about it, feeling shame about it but no more. As someone pointed out recently; a lot of narratives around abortion don’t talk about the pain of it. The emotional pain, the physical.
Sometimes these stories ignore that entirely. I refused to do so, because it’s part and parcel of my story, and I will not hide that pain for others comfort with the idea of choosing to have an abortion. It’s never fun, it’s not ideal and it’s a toll on the body & mind. People who want to take that choice from a pregnant person probably never had to deal with the choice.
They don’t understand, they don’t want to either. They want to elevate a still nascent person to be to a state of full person-hood with rights and needs and all the things that go with being an autonomous human outside the body of the person who carried them. Except, people often forget the person carrying that fetus as a human once they are pregnant. It’s all about the child to come and not about the mother.
A friend had to have a medically necessary abortion, and it was picked up by Salon. For writing her truth, she was stalked, harassed and hounded over the choice to live for her two children and husband. Because she chose her life over that of an unviable fetus that was beyond saving.
That’s what I don’t understand when people get so damn wrapped up in pro-life arguments. They are all for the life of that developing child, but will not hesitate to say that the person bearing that child should give up their life for their nascent human. That’s the most backwards argument for pro-life I have ever heard. If a person does die rather than have a medically necessary abortion and the child lives? Who will care for that child with a parent gone? What if the child doesn’t survive, what if they survive but have medical issues for the rest of their life?
So many what if’s to be consider. But one thing is certain, no one should ever, ever be forced to decide between their life and that of a yet unborn child; especially when it means that others will be left behind to grieve, to care-take and survive. It is for that reason and many more that I chose to participate in #shout yourabortion, and I will not be silent on this any longer.
