Why I won’t come out to my mom #BiVisibilityWeek

It’s still #BiVisibilityWeek right? Let me tell y’all a little story. It’s why I won’t ever come out to my mother. I’ve known I was bi since my early teens. But growing up in a very Catholic household meant not exploring that until I was on my own.

I‘m comfortable in who I am, I’m out pretty much everywhere and have no shame in labeling myself as bi. That’s not the issue. It’s why I know I can’t ever come out to her, even if we *did* have a good relationship. She had never said a thing about queerness until… I was visiting when the coming out episode of Ellen was on (I can’t remember why) and of all the things she could have said,

I wasn’t ready for her to say unprompted “…at least she’s not bisexual.”

Just threw it out there and I was like ok, it’s late, I gotta go…now was how I was feeling. It struck me as odd because I’d never mentioned girls as possible dates, barely brought dudes with me because she was always a do as I say, not as I do parent. So that was the first of many experiences where I learned being out and bi wasn’t ok with many people.

It was the harshest because this was my parent confirming without thinking that she doesn’t see part of me as valid. That’s what bugs me when people claim bisexuality isn’t real. That there’s only the L and G rattling around in the QUILTBAG. It’s not up to anyone to tell me whether my orientation is legit. No one gets to make that call. It’s part of why I’m noisy about it now.

So it’s why I’m visible and stay out & proud. It’s for those that can’t be out & safe. For those told they aren’t real or pushed away. For those of us that are out and proud, and those that must stay hidden. Happy #BiVisibilityWeek